Writing

A Writing Poll

Hey all you lovely people! I need a bit of help. With the end of the semester fast-approaching, it’s time to start finalizing and editing pieces for my non-fiction portfolio. This is where you come in. I’d love it if you guys could vote on which of the following excerpts are your favorite. This will help me figure out what sections can stay and what sections need a bit of work.

1.

It’s hard to go to the local grocery store without running into someone you know. The cashier is a “friend” from high school or one of the shoppers is the parent of the kid everyone hates. The minute you step through the automatic door, you can expect to make awkward small talk. A 10-minute shopping trip turns into 25 and all you wanted was a gallon of milk. But it’s hard to complain when you know the layout of the store like the back of your hand and it’s easy to turn down an aisle when you want to avoid someone.

2.

The ball danced around your feet as you ran through the field. I watched, somewhat intently and somewhat endearingly, while you weaved in and out of our friends and I sat by the fire. There was a group on the trampoline. Their laughter echoed between the trees and your house. The girl you had a crush on was over there and, once you were bored of the game, you climbed up with them.

3.

His neck curved like a vulture and his eyes crinkled at the edges when he laughed. His hair fell in locks over his ears and always got cut too short. His beak stuck out inches from his face. I remember how his eyes pierced into mine when he’d look at me, blue contrasting against pale skin.

 

If you could take a few moments and let me know which excerpt was your favorite in the comments below, I’d love you all forever!

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4 thoughts on “A Writing Poll”

  1. Hard to choose, but I think i like #1 best, maybe because it’s the one I can relate to most (it’s most familiar to me). But I’m not a huge fan of 2nd person; would like it better, I think, if you transitioned to 1st person in the 3rd sentence. Is this too much input? Forgive me if so. I also love much of the vulture imagery in 3, btw. Thanks for letting me read these!

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    1. That’s not too much input at all! I appreciate the feedback. It’s actually quite helpful to have someone go a bit more in-depth with their reasoning. Thank you!

      Like

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